D'Amore

I'm back here at the Hempstead House castle in Long Island. Sitting in my car again, bored out of my mind again.

I finished The Corrections, and seem to be suffering from the sort of mild depression that always seems to accompany finishing a good book.

Yesterday I had The Worst Lunch Ever courtesy of "Pizza D'Amore" at the Bay Parkway mall that hest Best Buy in it in south Brooklyn. Literally everything was wrong, from the "deep-dish" Sicilian-style pizza I was forced to order (the only normal crusted pizza they had were "salad" and "broccoli mushroom"), to the drink I almost asked for a refund of.

The slice of what I guess would be considered "black olive and meat lover's pizza" was handed to me, the crust burnt black on the corners and the complete underside, the chunks of sausage, pepperoni, and even olives dried out completely yet still somehow sweating grease. My order of three mozzarella sticks ($2) was handed to me on a floppy paper plate, the sticks luke-warm (but the marinara dipping sauce piping hot, to even it out I suppose). My small fountain Coke I ordered tasted more like flat generic-brand "Cola," and when I dared insinuate that this was not in fact a Coca-Cola, the woman behind the counter snapped at me and told me I was wrong. I told her I'd wager twice the price of my meal ($14) that if I would be allowed to look at the tap, I'd see it going into something other than a Coca-Cola syrup box, and she just snapped, "WELL IT'S NOT PEPSI."

The burnt pizza and cold mozzarella sticks were a chore to get through, made worse by Gloria Estefan blaring from the ceiling. The fact that I was sitting alone in a booth made to seat four at a place called Pizza D'Amore with furnishings that looked to have come from a tacky Long Island beauty parlor just worked to rub in my face how quickly I had wasted seven dollars.

All things considered, I did manage to find an All-In-One printer scanner copier thing at Best Buy for just 70 bucks. So hey, the $10 sale went to a crappy lunch. Who cares I guess.

I sent my ex-girlfriend a present for her birthday two weeks ago, and although we haven't talked in a month or so, I guess I did expect to get a thank you call for the nice art print. In retrospect, I should have kept it for myself... My walls are barren, and I personally would have appreciated it quite a bit.

hempstead house

This has got to be the most boring job ever.

1) Wake up, 5am
2) Drive to location way early to avoid traffic
3) Arrive to location, 6:40am
4) Fall asleep until 7:50am
5) Buy breakfast for crew at Dunkin Donuts
6) Return with breakfast, go to car
7) Listen to radio
8) "Rest eyes"
9) Read book
10) Walk around castle/set aimlessly pretending to take note of things
11) Go buy lunch
12) Return with lunch, find a place to sit down and eat it
13) Read book
14) Aimless walking
15) Sit in car
16) Read book
17) Aimless walking
18) 5pm, Make sure everyone is out of set
19) Drive home
20) Arrive home, 6:20pm

Today I meant to bring a movie to watch in my car but I left it at home.

It's nice getting paid to do nothing, but at the same time, it would be really nice to be doing anything. I like working for my money. Or at least feeling useful. I am totally unnecessary here, and just a product of stupid Hollywood hierarchy.

"Is that correct? Please say 'yes' or 'no"

T-mobile's voice activated menu system when you call customer support has got to be the absolute worst. There's no way to just punch your answers in, and it can never understand me, no matter how plainly (or angrily) I speak.

When I finally get to talk to a support "agent," she has no solution whatsoever to my telephone woes, and when I tell her that a better solution than the one she offers (deleting 678 photos on my phone one by one) would be throwing the phone out the window, the woman seems completely unable to grasp that I am not being completely serious, and tells me it will void my warranty.

I could understand this as a witty retort, but it wasn't. It was just the response of a completely humorless support agent at T-mobile.


Today I set up my little workspace in the corner nook of my room which is separated from the rest of the room by a little archway. It's very nice, and I'm happy with my job of hiding all the cables and power bricks and all, but I was unable to get any real work done today regardless.

I did manage to play some serious ass wii mario kart though, and I did some heavy organization of my mp3s. What am I... in college? I feel like I have a goddamned paper to write and I'm just doing anything else. I need to edit.

first things first

I've told a few people at this point that this blog exists. Not specifically where, but just that I do in fact have a "blog." I guess I did it specifically as motivation for me to write in it since I've been so bad about it, so we'll see if it works.

A lot of things I think to write down, but then I realize they would be better suited for a true "personal diary" rather than this public internet thing. Then again, though, I'd never keep a personal diary or something like that. Even when I was a kid and had one, it really was just kept in hopes that someone (if just my mother) would read it.

This is without a doubt the most alone I've been in certainly the past 5 years, probably significantly more than that. I'd say at least 7 or 8. It's quite hard not really having anyone to talk to, and I feel like when I find someone new to tell things to, I notice myself harping on them or relying on them too much so I make myself back away completely. There doesn't ever seem to be any sort of in between, and I haven't met a new friend in what seems like ages.

I need to go out more.

I also need to get the heat turned on in my apartment. Last night I slept in two pairs of socks, pajama pants (I honestly never wear pajamas, just boxers and that's it), a shirt, and at one point a hoodie and a hat. My room is huge and I don't know what to do with all the space. Right now it's just wide open, and I'm sure that does nothing but contribute to the feeling of cold. Not to mention loneliness in some way.

A streetlight shines directly into my eyes when I go to sleep if I don't pull my blinds all the way, so that means every morning I wake to a very subdued and gray light peeking through the edges of my as-cheap-as-possible plastic-on-a-roll blinds. Every morning when I wake up I'm sure it must be raining outside, even when behind the blinds is full on sunlight.